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Vampires! Zombies! Angels! Oh My!

January 8, 2011

My First Masterpiece

Notice the bad-ass vampire, miniature angel, and terrifying zombie.

So this is my first post. Ta Dah!

I read a lot of books. I have a job that often affords me the opportunity to read for several hours a day. I have a Barnes & Noble Nook E-reader. Consider me a book-o-phile ( and yes, I know that is not a real word). On average, I read a new book every two to three days. And what have you learned from all this copious reading you ask? Good question.

The world is ending.

It may be vampires taking over the world like written in The Passage. It may be a zombie apocalypse a la World War Z. Perhaps evil half-men, half-angel Nephilim such as in Angelology by Danielle Trussoni are actually the unseen movers behind global affairs, acting as a kind of demonic Illuminati (Okay- I know it’s not exactly a “world is ending plot.” But seriously? The idea of half-angels living alongside humans when they have 12 feet of wings lashed down with some kind of leather harness seems a little far-fetched. But I digress…)

This begs an obvious question however. What kind of supernatural/mythical beast or creature will be the star of the new bestselling book or movie about global human annihilation? The only rational answer is a UNICORN!

Yes. A unicorn. I know you were thinking a GNOME. As in David the Gnome and the Coming Nuclear Holocaust or Travelocity. But the correct question to the answer above is “What is a UNICORN?” Those mischievous bastards are not kind friendly “horses with horns with benevolent powers” that we were learned about in our youth but rather dark instruments of terror and misery. Have you ever asked a man with an eye-patch exactly how he lost his eye? There’s a better than even chance that the man’s remaining eye will shed a tear as he turns and quickly limps away, swearing to himself about that “damn’d one-horned white unicorn that still prowls the open meadow.”

So what do you think? What or who is going to be the hottest creature and/or supernatural terror flying off the bookshelves and flooding subsequent movie screens 8 weeks later this year? What will be the new “It Beast?”

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One Comment
  1. Jay permalink

    Pretty sure anybody in the cast of that “Jersey Shore” abortion qualifies as a minion of Mephistopheles mated merrily with Magog by the machinations of a massively Machiavellian macaroni named Mufasa, producing a macrocosm of macrencephalous Madagascan madams mainly named Madonna of the Magellanic Cloud with the magical ability to magnetize multiple magnolia. Machete.

    However, I for my part, really really REALLY want a co-dependent lesbian who is seeking the same to be the new ‘It Beast’ : http://io9.com/5733180/best-movie-title-of-the-year-codependent-lesbian-alien-seeks-same

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