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Helping a Friend Move = Terrible!

January 11, 2011

A representation of what happened the last time.

Let me just start by pointing out that I wanted to use the word “sucks” in this post’s title. I did not. For those very few that may actually be interested in this somewhat obscure journalistic debate, please click here and here. Otherwise here are some reasons why helping a friend move will always be terrible:

At the end of the day, it’s not your stuff. You honestly try to be careful with your friend’s possessions, but invariably some item of  great sentimental and/or monetary value WILL get broken or scratched or hurled down an open elevator shaft. These things happen. The true test of friendship is whether or not you will ever actually tell your friend why his coffee table now has a leg made out of coat-hangers and beer cans.

Additionally someone always gets hurt. Maybe it is a bloodied shin or a jammed finger or maybe even the dreaded “mysterious sudden onset of some previously undisclosed lower back pain,” but as the day progresses towards that mythical hour of free pizza and beer, be assured that the number of casualties will continue to climb.

The worst part is that you can never ever comment about anything. Do not mention the amount of dust that was under the couch. Do not sneeze because of the amount of dust that was under the couch. Even if your friend is moving into a fetid basement apartment that looks like it was ripped straight from the bowels of Hell, complete with rats and its own pair of rusty manacles, DON’T SAY ANYTHING that could possibly have any chance of being misinterpreted as remotely negative.

So why exactly do I still help my friends when they are moving? Because they are my friends. And there will be a day when I ask them to return the favor. Also I’m a sucker for free pizza and beer.

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